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Monthly Archives: June 2012

My Name is Bruce (2007)—and I don’t mean Bruce Lee.

The second film in our series is “My Name Is Bruce,” the 2007 comedy-horror-spoof-film, directed, co-produced and starring the “B” (or C+ if you listen to some people) movie great Bruce Campbell.  As you know we just took a look at Army of Darkness (by far my favorite Campbell film); this time around we are discussing a movie about Bruce Campbell playing Bruce Campbell.  Unlike unintentional actors who are not really acting on screen, like when Chazz Palminteri plays Chazz Palminteri in every film, Campbell parades his status as cult B-movie genre megastar and makes a film that pokes fun at his acting career.  My guess is that most Hollywood “stars” have too big of an ego to make something with this sort of self-deprecating humor in it.

 

In his film, Campbell exaggerates all possible perceptions of what life is like being Bruce Campbell.  Portraying himself as a gone to hell, ruined by the devil’s nectar, divorced, making wretched sequels to already awful movies and living a trailer with an alcoholic dog, being Bruce means at best you are a proud loser barely maintaining a toehold on the “C” list of celebrity parties.

 

Somehow believing that Bruce is the hero he portrays in movies, Jeff, a fan and the sole surviving member of a group of Goth-like teens attacked by an ancient oriental evil demon that protects the souls of dead Chinese and bean curd, decides to kidnap Bruce and take him to his small town in the Heartland.  There, Bruce erroneously assumes his agent has set the stage for his birthday present (which was actually a hooker) by setting him up for yet another horror film shot in reality-style with an all-amateur cast.

 

Bruce is a little slow on the uptake in realizing that this Midwest jerk water burg of Gold Lick is under actual peril from an ancient, white-bearded God of War set on avenging the lives of 100 “Chinaman” workers lost in a mining disaster 100 years earlier.  Nevertheless, Jeff has sold him as the town’s savior, and like in Army of Darkness, takes up a “Hail to the King Baby” lifestyle.

 

After visiting Goldlick’s gun shop, Bruce and many amateur-actor citizens of Goldlick follow Bruce to take on Guan-Di, which Bruce thinks is just part of the movie.  When he finds out that it’s a real demon, he gets the hell out of Dodge, disappointing his female love interest Kelly and upsetting Jeff as well as the entire town of Goldlick.  When Bruce returns to his trailer home, he finds that everyone, including his junkie dog, hates him.  He has a restraining order placed upon him by his ex-wife, Cheryl who also wants more alimony, and finds that his “surprise birthday present” from Mills was just a singing prostitute.  Bruce is then called by Jeff, who informs him that he’s going to take on Guan-Di alone in spite of Bruce’s embarrassing retreat.

 

The hooker takes Bruce back to Goldlick, where he is treated with contempt but is determined to rescue Jeff.  He drives to the old cemetery where they planted dynamite at the mausoleum and try to lure Guan-Di inside with a cardboard cut-out of Bruce, which Guan-Di doesn’t fall for.  Displaying his machismo, Bruce decides to sacrifice himself using bean curd to luring Guan-Di and the dynamite is blown up.  He emerges from the debris alive, and hangs the medallion back on the mausoleum wall soothing the spirit.  Guan-Di then also comes back to life, and at the very last minute, it turns out the whole story was a movie being screened by the principals at the studio.  Bruce argues with Ted Raimi about the timeworn ending and turns it into a “happy ending,” which involves Bruce and Kelly married, living in a nice house, white picket fence and their son, Jeff, who is accepted into Harvard.  After the movie ends, Bruce asks, “What could be a better ending than that?” after which Guan-Di appears and attacks Bruce.

 

I must admit I was a little surprised with this film, I didn’t know what to expect—there are not too many movies where one satirizes one’s own career.  Fans of Bruce Campbell and the genera he represents I am sure were delighted by this film.  Though I am generally not a “B” horror movie fan (I enjoy many other “B” movie types) this film was not a cheap horror at all; instead it was a unique (and funny) look through the lens of the world of cheap horror movies.  It was better than I thought it would be and it needs to be watched more than once before catching all of the hidden humor; and anyone looking to kill a couple hours could do much worse than watching My Name is Bruce.  I will say this, while researching this review I looked at Bruce Campbell’s filmography and I would be willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that all but the most elite actors would give their right arm for the professional opportunities he has had.  Not bad for someone relegated to the seedy underworld of “B” horror movies—according to the site Celebrity Net Worth his is estimated at six million—I don’t know about you but that is a hell of a lot more than me.

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2012 in Movie Reviews

 

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Don’t Drink the Wine–It Does Not Taste Fine. Cary Grant in Arsenic & Old Lace (1944)

Emma and Sally Review Arsenic and Old Lace: Charge!

Why did you want to see A and OL?

Emma: Because it’s a good movie.

Sally: Because I love the Teddy Roosevelt thing. It’s really funny.

Can you describe the plot?

Sally: It was a pretty good funny movie.

Emma: It’s about two old ladies who kill people. They poison them and bury them in their cellar.

Sally: And they think it’s a good thing and their not real nephew finds out about it and he knows that it’s bad so…

Why do the old ladies think it’s a good idea to kill people?

Sally: Because they’re putting them out of their misery.

Emma: Because they are only killing people who are lonely and have no friends.

Sally: They only kill old gentlemen.

What’s your favorite part of the movie?

Sally: When the other guy who doesn’t think he’s Teddy Roosevelt charged up the stairs.

Emma: I don’t know.

Do you think Cary Grant and his new wife will live happily ever after?

Sally: No, I don’t think so. I think they’ll live insanely. Possibly happily.

Emma: I don’t know.

Do you think the aunts belonged in the insane asylum?

Emma: Well they were murdering people.

Sally: And they are kind of crazy. They were murdering people and thinking it was a good thing. They’re insane.

Do you think Teddy belonged in the insane asylum?

Sally: Yes. Although if they had a lot of stairs it might be not so good.

Do you belong in the insane asylum?

Sally: NO. That insane asylum was for people who thought they were historical people. And he said they were a little short on Napoleons.

Emma: Not necessarily. The aunts didn’t think they were historical people.

Sally: True, but they were still insane.

Who did the best acting job?

Sally: The person who turned out not to be a Brewster.

Emma: Mortimer?

Sally: Yeah.

Emma: I thought it was Teddy Roosevelt.

What did you think of Boris Karlov?

Emma: It said that it wasn’t actually, at the end. I thought that he was but he wasn’t. He looked a lot like him though.

Sally: He was weird.

What would you have thought if you were the cab driver?

Emma: I would have been annoyed.

Sally: I would have been really annoyed too.

What did you think of the police officer?

Emma: They all seemed pretty oblivious.

Sally: Yeah, they seemed pretty oblivious.

What did you learn from this movie?

Sally: Nothing.

Emma: Nothing.

Would you have tea with the aunts?

Sally: No.

Emma: I might have TEA with them.

Sally: Yeah, I might have tea with them.

Emma: Just not elderberry wine.

Sally: But you don’t drink, so…

Emma: Yes. Exactly.

What would you do if the aunts invited you to services in their cellar?

Sally : I would ask them why.

Emma: [shrugs]

Which of you is most likely to be found to be insane when you are older?

Sally: Emma!

Emma: Sally!

Explain your answer.

Sally: Well, she’s kind of crazy now.

Emma: So are you.

Sally: No I am not!

Emma: Well, you kind of are.

Sally: No I am not!

Do you consider this a girl power movie, and why or why not?

Sally: No, because it doesn’t really have girl power in it. The girl is just kind of helpless and the two aunts are insane. It’s not really girl power.

Emma: No, because the two aunts are insane.

Did you know that this play is commonly done by high school drama groups? Would you want to be in the play?

Sally: No.

Emma: Yes.

What part would you want to play, and why?

Emma: One of the aunts.

Sally: Yeah, I suppose one of the aunts. If I had to play some part.

Emma: It would be fun.

Sally: I don’t really want to be the other person, so…one of the aunts.

What is your favorite line from the movie?

Sally: Charge!

Emma: I don’t know.

Interviewer: My favorite is when Cary Grant says to one of the aunts, “You’ve just admitted to me that you have been murdering people and burying them in the cellar,” and she replies, “Yes, but you don’t think I would stoop to telling a fib!”

What rating do you think JPFMovies should give this movie, and why? On a scale of 1-10?

Emma: A nine.

Sally: A six.

And why?

Emma: It’s a funny movie.

Sally: Yeah, it’s a pretty fun movie. Especially the [imitates trumpet blowing] and charge!

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on June 17, 2012 in Movie Reviews

 

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We Interrupt thsi Bruce Campbell Tribute to Bring you Another Review from EJ & SJ: Arsenic & Old Lace (1944) or How to have a Mausoleum in your basement.

EJ & SJ have hit us with another review this time about the classic Cary Grant film Arsenic & Old Lace (1944). Let’s see what they have have to say about this classic comedy starring the larger than life Cary Grant.

 
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Posted by on June 16, 2012 in Movie Reviews

 

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